By the Time I Get To Writing An Obligatory, But A (In My Opinion) Much Needed, Blog Entry About Tuscon

It's kind of old news now, since the blogosphere is saturated with opinions, comments and the like about the shooting of Arizona Representative Gabrielle Giffords, her progress, whose fault it is, what's up with Jared Lee Loughner and all that other shit. Nonetheless, it's very much a relevant story, and a definite game-changer in the face of American politics; More than electing Barack Obama, more than the Tea Party Movement, or anything else in recent history. The shooting that severely wounded Giffords and killed six people, including a 9-year-old girl who ironically was born on 9/11/01, has raised many questions on what exactly the heated political landscape of the past 2 years has lead to, and what we all can do to fix it (if we can).

I'm not going to opine on Giffords' would-be assassin, Jared Lee Loughner, because not too much is known about him except that he appears to be mentally unstable, ranking with the likes of Mark David Chapman or John Hinckley. To me, judging from his mugshot, he looks like Divine towards the end of Female Trouble.



While most of the country seems to be united by the tragedy and thinking that it's a terrible thing, there are those usual suspects that have to divert the tragedy from what it really is to an episode of self-victimization. Enter Sarah Palin, everyone's favorite half-term governor, and a recent one-season wonder reality TV star. The one who said "Don't retread. Reload" as a battle cry for the 2010 midterm elections and who had an ad showing a map of the U.S. with crosshairs pointing to districts of representatives her and her Tea Party/Fox News/Reagan Rimming buddies don't like, one of them being Gabrielle Giffords. Even Elisabeth Hasselback jumped off the Palin Express upon seeing that one! Back to Palin, now she's boo-hooing over the media making her the target of ridicule and shame that she is, and now she's trying to fan the flames of the political wildfire she and a few others have set. Did she mean "Reload" literally, as in point a gun and kill a politician who voted for Obamacare? Probably not. If Giffords or Alan Grayson were moose in the Yukon, yeah, but I don't think so. Then again, the rhetoric of the Tea Party and Palin has always confused me. What with Teabaggers waving the Don't Tread on Me flag, which was used a lot during the Revolutionary War, some people bringing loaded guns yards away from the president or other sitting politicians, holding up signs talking of "watering the tree of liberty with the blood of tyrants" and the constant glorification of our Founding Fathers (i.e. Ben Franklin, George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Thomas Paine, etc) all being constants at rallies and political events. I wonder how in tune with American history a lot of these people are. I wonder if they know that the blood of tyrants in 1776 was literally blood, or that George Washington saw carnage and human suffering in the Revolutionary War that was gut-wrenching and emotionally taxing. Or that Obama's nowhere near the tyrant King George III was, not even if he tried. I'm curious on how much of this Boston Tea Party-esque rhetoric is symbolic and how much of it is literal. Did people want the Tea Party Revolution to spill blood? A coup d'etat, like the Bolsheviks or the Sandinistas? Especially with messages reverting back to the era of the American Revolution, Sarah Palin and Glenn Beck need to be careful with their comparisons, considering that gun nuts and rednecks a lot of the time aren't the most educated people in the world.

Regardless of her message, now is not the time to play victim (or dumb). Playing dumb might have worked for Reagan during the Iran-Contra scandal, but not now. Playing victim is just plain old inappropriate. Using terms like "blood libel" is irresponsible and misguided - a testament to the number of office seekers in the Republican Party who take pride in being an average Joe who wasn't taught at a fancy-shmancy Ivy League school, who drives a pickup truck, and who is willfully ignorant. And another thing for Palin and Bill O'Reilly to remember this THIS IS NOT ABOUT THEM!!!!! Six people died, many more wounded, and Giffords faces a long road to recovery. Thankfully, she is making progress, which is amazing since very few people get shot in the head and live. And Palin and others are concerned about themselves? Sorry, but when you're famous, stalkers, death threats and people going after your kids is common. Ingrid Newkirk, Palin's total opposite, gets death threats and hate mail all the time but no one sees her whining! It just shows how selfish and dumb Palin is. She uses this tragedy to cry about herself, as she has other occasions. Maybe this is her way of mourning the cancellation of her reality TV show, which bombed (and for very good reasons).

Dead iPods, Black Swans, and Assorted Holiday Miscellany

I remember my sister got me my first iPod for Christmas back in 2006. Four years later, tens of thousands of songs later, and 3 computers later, I think it's safe to say that it has finally gone on to digital heaven. It was crashing an awful lot the past month or so, so I guess you could say I saw this coming. iPods do not last forever, and I know people who have had iPods shit out on them after less than 2 years, so I was pretty fortunate to have mine last as long as it did. It still sucks though. Now I'm going to have to deal with the shitty radio (or just endure a silent trip) when I'm in the car, and I'll just have to grit my teeth when I hear that shitty Katy Perry song in the gym, in addition to the other saccharine garbage they play. But hopefully I'll have enough dough for a new one soon enough... one that has more memory. Right now, I have it plugged into my computer and it just says "Please wait, very low battery," but nothing's happening. I think this sort of digital life support is failing. Well, the last song that was played on it was "Gimme Danger" by the Stooges.



Amelia and I saw Black Swan a couple of nights ago. Definitely the most intense film I've seen this year. Natalie Portman gave such a haunting and flawless performance that if she is snubbed for an Oscar this year, then the people at the Oscars are stupid (I mean, they're stupid anyway. When your list of Best Pictures includes Crash and Titanic, there's something wrong). Mila Kunis was also incredible in the film, a departure from any of her previous work: I caught myself saying "Shut up, Meg" during a few of her lines of dialogue, a nod to her role in Family Guy. It was your typical Darron Aronofsky flick; The story was of a tortured soul striving for some form of perfection or euphoria and having that person experience a tremendous pitfall, with grotesque detail of physical or mental trauma. Nonetheless, Black Swan was perhaps the most captivating of all of his movies, and Nina (Portman's character) was certainly one of the most sympathetic characters in any Aronofsky flick (topped by possibly lonely, old Sarah Goldfarb in Requiem for a Dream). Black Swan definitely deserved the critical hype it got, and if it weren't for Scott Pilgrim v. the World, it'd be my pick for best picture of 2010!



Captain Beefheart died over the weekend due to complications of multiple sclerosis. It was weird because before he died, I was listening to him a lot. Just last week I found an old copy of Safe As Milk for $6 at a local record store. One of rock's most uncompromising visionaries who was light years ahead of his time.

I have a busy week ahead of me before Christmas. Today I meet with an academic advisor for Southern. I have laundry to do. I have work tonight. I have to put more shit up on eBay, and I have to schedule a physical so Southern can have an updated health record of me, I guess to make sure I don't have tuberculosis or the bubonic plague. Not like I have money for a physical (I'm still uninsured. Thanks Obama for caving in on public option!), and the cheapest doctor I know of is in Bridgeport, and that's $100. $100 I do not have at present.

I'm compiling my list of the best albums of the year. It's gonna be harder now that I don't have an iPod, but I have a list that I've narrowed it down to.

Something I Don't Talk About Often...

The week of Thanksgiving is always a bittersweet week for me. I always enjoyed the shortened school week, and the general feeling that the holidays are upon us. I don't like the bombardment of Black Friday ads on radio, TV and the internet, though, but that shouldn't take away from me eating like a pig on Thanksgiving and otherwise not having to do anything (though I do have to work on Black Friday, but luckily for me, I don't work in retail).

Thanksgiving has also become kind of a sad time for me, as a very tragic event happened to my family 5 years ago. About twenty minutes after midnight on Thanksgiving Morning 2005, my cousin Tyler was killed by a drunk driver. He was just four days shy of his 19th birthday, and his passing has opened up a floodgate of emotions for me that took a long time for me to deal with (and I still have not fully made sense of this tragedy, nor do I accept it).

I would have been devastated by Tyler's death anyway, as he and I were the closest in age out of all my cousins and when we were younger we were close. But at the time of his death, he and I had not spoken in over 5 years. I don't want to get too much into the details about why, but basically when I was 13, in early 1999, my parents divorced. My dad had a pretty bad alcohol problem and my mother had attempted suicide shortly beforehand. I'm not going to sit here and say who did what and what was said and all that, but as a result of this, I pretty much lost contact with my dad's side of the family There was a schism in our family, if you will. My mother was an only child and by the time her and my dad had divorced, both her parents were dead. My dad was one of four children, and they all had kids of their own. My dad's older brother, Robert, was Tyler's father. For the most part, my uncle Robert stayed out of our family mess, and he did have the advantage of living 300 miles away from us (he lives in Northern Virginia, literally a hop a skip and a jump away from Washington D.C.).

After that, the only time I ever saw Tyler again was in October 2000. I had been asked to help my grandparents move to their new house, I guess as a way of them extending an olive branch, and I agreed to it despite my reservations. My uncle Robert, my Aunt Nancy and Tyler had come up from Virginia to help out as well, and before that, it had been at least 2 or 3 years since I had seen any of them. For obvious reasons (distance and jobs and all that), they didn't come up too often, maybe twice a year, and since the rest of my family lives in Connecticut, we didn't make it down to Virginia too often either. But it was like no time had passed when it came to Tyler. The first thing he did when he saw me was throw a football at me, and we played catch for a while. I don't remember the rest of the day too well, but I also had no fucking idea that that would be the last time I would ever see him. I always think of that scene in Forrest Gump where he was talking to his friend Bubba, who had been mortally wounded in Vietnam, and Gump (while narrating) said "If I had known that this would be the last time me and Bubba was gonna talk, I would have thought of something better to say." Well, that's true for me and Tyler.

Fast forward to five years later, on Thanksgiving night 2005, my girlfirned and I went out to dinner and we were at my house watching a movie. The phone rang. It was my Aunt Diane. Out of everyone in my extended family, she had always kept in touch with me and my sister. She was (and still is) probably the only one in my family who could be flat out open about our family's history of alcohol abuse (my dad is an alcoholic, so is my grandfather, and so was his father), so I thought that she was naturally just checking in on us (which I'm sure she was); the rest of my family tends to keep their problems to themselves, which I guess I can't fault them for. So it started off like your nomal "Hi, how are you? Happy Thanksgiving!" type phone call you would expect from a relative or friend. And then she broke the news that Tyler had been killed, which, as probably expected, she burst into tears after trying to keep her composure for the first minute or so into our phone conversation. And I just went cold. I did the whole "WHAT?!?!?!" thing, and I think I started cursing for like a minute straight trying to take in the news that my cousin was dead. It was hard. I did not take the news of it well at all. For the rest of that week, I hardly spoke and I was really depressed about it. I didn't cry about it; I couldn't, for if I did, my tears would never stop.

It had already been a shitty week to begin with. I had lost my job at some restaurant I was working at, and that year in general was just a shitstorm and a half. The part that really bothered me (and still bothers me to this day) was that the night before Thanksgiving, around 11:30 PM or so, I was driving hme from my friend's house, and out of nowhere I had this pang of nervousness and instability. I had some starnge feeling that something was wrong somewhere to someone I knew. Tyler didn't come to mind; In fact, NO ONE IN PARTICULAR came to mind. It could have been my mother, my sister, my girlfriend, or some guy I used to be friends with. This feeling wore off by 1 AM, but upon hearing of Tyler's death (which happened at 12:18 AM that morning, probaby as I was pacing around my house listening to music), I knew that I had felt that for a reason. Good ol' intuition. It never fails.

Three people I knew died in 2005, all of them around the same age as me. The first one was in April, this guy Brian, who was a friend of my girlfriend's brother. He was no angel; basically spent his teenage years rebelling against his overly Christian family by doing drugs and all that, and ended up overdosing. Less than a month later, this guy I went to school with, Jon, was killed by a drunk-and-high-on-pills driver. I wasn't close to any of them, but still. They were the same age as me, and it instilled the truth in me that I could die tomorrow too.

One of the most tragic elements about this story is all my cousin had to persevere against throughout his short life. He was born with some birth defects involving his back, and had to endure 5 operations before his 2nd birthday. These setbacks never stopped him from anything, and judging from what I know about his life up until it ended, he was well on his way to becoming an incredible person. He was studying Criminal Justice at a community college at the time of the crash, had legions of friends from all corners of the nation, and was just your typical American male teenager. And honestly one of the kindest people I've ever known in my life.

In October, I went down to Virginia for the first time since 1997; I couldn't make it to Tyler's funeral in 2005, even if I desperately wanted to. My Uncle Bob and Aunt Nancy seem to be doing OK, meaning that they're able to smile and laugh and leave the house and all that, but they're still mourning (and they probably will for the rest of their lives). They're able to talk about Tyler, filling me in on details that didn't make the newspapers or that I kind of avoided to delve into, but there is that element of insurmountable sadness there. Nancy is more outwardly stronger in talking about it, as I always thought that she was very much a strong-willed person, yet Bob still appears as if he could start crying at any time (and I don't blame him). It was creepy being there though. The last time I was at their house, Tyler was still here obviously. They redid their house, which looked fantastic, but they showed me Tyler's bedroom; his possessions untouched, supposedly in the same place they were when he left his house for the very last time. In the guest room Amelia and I stayed in (which I swear was Tyler's childhood bedroom; he must have switched rooms as he got older), there was this wreath on the wall, surrounded by some of his old toys. I had fun on that trip, but it was also very emotional for me as well. I held back a lot. I guess at the end of the day, I just don't know how to tell my aunt and uncle how sorry I am that it happened and the tremendous amount of guilt I felt towards it, even if I had nothing to do with it. I guess there's a part of me that felt like if I had stayed in touch with him, somehow his life would be spared, like if I had emailed him that day or called or whatever, he would have left his house a few minutes later than he had planned, and the pickup truck that crashed into him would have passed him. I was always encouraged to keep in touch with him from my mother, and she was right that I should have. I also had no clue in the world that he would be dead before he was 20. I always kind of envisioned that we'd meet up for a beer one day as I travelled across the nation and I stopped in Virginia or something like that, but obviously that can never happen. And that's one of the biggest regrets of my entire life.

BTW, the guy who did it (who was actually an illegal immigrant from Mexico, which is my only argument AGAINST illegal immigration) got 10 years in jail for vehicular manslaughter. He also attempted to flee the scene. But once he gets out, he'll be sent back to Mexico. Glad he didn't get off.

Well, have a Happy Thanksgiving everyone. Be safe and happy, and if you do drink, I urge you to make the right decision when it comes to driving.

R.I.P. Jonathan Tyler Bentley (November 28, 1986 - November 24, 2005)

In Memoriam: Greg Giraldo (1965-2010)

Last Saturday, comedian Greg Giraldo overdosed on prescription medication leaving him in critical condition in a hospital in New Brunswick, New Jersey. On Wednesday the 29th, he died after five days in a coma. He was 44. Again, we've had to endure the loss of a brilliant comic, especially in a world where many mediocre comics run amok. Greg Giraldo was probably best known for his razor-sharp barbs he used in many Comedy Central Roasts, and every single one of them he gave a killer performance, telling oft-offensive jokes about the person being roasted and fellow dais members, but he did it in a way that sounded good-natured. In many Comedy Central Roasts, he usually was the first guy up to lash into Bob Saget or Larry the Cable Guy, but a couple of months ago, they had a roast of David Hasselhoff, which was brilliant (considering the roast for Joan Rivers was a dud), Giraldo was the last person to perform on the show, which now seems eerily prophetic. And I think that performance was the best one out of all the roasts he had done previously, although it would be very hard to choose just one.

I never know why whenever a comedian dies, it's always a good one. I don't wish death on Dane Cook, or Larry the Cable Guy, or Gabriel "Fluffy" Iglesias, or Carlos Mencia, but I find it unjust that we've lost Bill Hicks, George Carlin, Richard Jeni, and now Greg Giraldo. Giraldo never achieved the level of popularity he deserved, which is unfortunate because even his regular stand-up bits were very acute and observational, but I'll always remember him fondly. And he seemed like a cool guy too.

True to roasting fashion, Gilbert Gottfried, another fairly frequent presence on the Comedy Central Roasts tweeted, "If Greg Giraldo is cremated, will that be the 'Greg Giraldo Roast'?" which had a lot of people crying "too soon!" However, I think that he would have gotten a hoot out of that joke, since he always took whatever insults were hurled at him at roasts in life, so why not in death?

Roast In Peace.

The Roast of David Hasselhoff
Uncensored - Greg Giraldo - No Talent Success
www.comedycentral.com
New Whitney Cummings Special South Park Nick Swardson's Pretend Time

The First Week of Autumn

Happy Second Equinox, everybody! Fall officially begun a couple of days ago (and it still was 85 degrees outside!), and fall has always been my favorite season. I've always been lucky to have been a resident of New England for all my life, where the foliage has always been absolutely stunning to look at. I always enjoyed taking long walks or drives and absorbing the beauty of the landscape during autumn. The leaves are kind of changing color here, but not a lot, which is typical for September; the true change in weather usually comes around October. And October is easily one of the best months of the year for me.

Even better, my girlfriend and I are taking a trip down to the Washington D.C. area in the middle of October. She's never been there before, and I haven't been there since I was 11. My uncle lives down there, so we have a place to stay. We need a vacation; this summer was especially stressful, and we're still incredibly busy now that we're back in school and trying to form a new music project. So 4 days in D.C./Northern Virginia/more of Virginia if we're feeling ambitious just may revitalize us and give a sense of relaxation that vacations usually do. I heard that fall in D.C. is absolutely gorgeous, and I've actually never been down there during that time. I am going to be bummed because we're going two weeks before Jon Stewart's Restoring Sanity Rally/Stephen Colbert's Keep Fear Alive Rally). I did some research on record stores in that area, and there's a ton of 'em, including one literally 5 minutes away from my uncle's house!

I've had the soundtrack to Scott Pilgrim vs. the World on repeat the past couple of hours. It's a brilliant soundtrack to an even more brilliant movie. It contains music by Beck (he even wrote the music for the fictional band in the film, Sex Bob-Omb, which sounds like a hybrid of The Stooges and Death From Above 1979), Broken Social Scene, T-Rex and Metric. I also got acquainted with some now-defunct bands; Plumtree, an all-girl Canadian band who actually had a song called "Scott Pilgrim," whom the character was named after, and Beachwood Sparks, a country-influenced rock band who did a gorgeous cover of Sade's "By Your Side," which perfectly complimented one of the more romantic scenes in the movie. Usually, soundtracks serve as a way for a filmmaker to shoot off his/her favorite tunes, but very few these days see a film soundtrack as an art form: this one does, surely.

And fuck the Senate for blocking the repeal of Don't Ask Don't Tell! Proof that the GOP is still living in the '50s (1950s? Or 1850s? Can't decide which).

I'm Not Dead

I know it's been an eternity since I have written anything on this, or anywhere else for that matter. I tend to drop off the face of the blogosphere and go Nick Drake on everybody's ass, but up until now I feel like I have had nothing to say. I have started drafts on blog entries and other shit, but hit a creative dead end after a few paragraphs and it all ends up in the digital trashbin. I started an entry about Obama standing up in favor of the Ground Zero Mosque (more like a Muslim version of the YMCA a few blocks away) and railing on how he just might have a set of testicles after all, but then I got distracted by the carnival that has been my head for the past few months. Apart from turning 25, (finally) getting my first taste at waiting tables (far more lucrative than ice cream whore), moving in with my girlfriend, listening to a shit ton of new music, having my band break up, trying to eat healthy, trying to get an exercise regiment going, and a lot more other stuff, it has been hard to finish writing a sentence, let alone upkeep a blog. And such distractions and errors actually cost me a freelancing gig that didn't pay me a lot, but I was able to put some away (until I needed new shelves, a new dresser, and a master brake system for my trusty ol' Lumina). But I'll find others I'm sure

Last time I blogged, back in July, I had supposedly begun work on a project to name the Top 125 albums since 1985 as a way to say "fuck you" to SPIN magazine, who had done a similar list (factoid: both me and SPIN were birthed in 1985). I compiled a list of 125 albums out of a possible 600 or so contenders, got writing and stopped. Because it's bullshit, no one really cares, and I was checking out a whole slew of new albums that I had never heard before from all different genres and eras, and I thought the list was predictable. What was my #1 choice? You guessed it: Nirvana's Nevermind. That's right. The album I've listened to more than any other album ever. How original. And yes, I was on a major Nirvana kick this entire summer. I was also gonna do a commentary piece on VH1's latest "Greatest" list where they did the 100 Greatest Artists of All Time (which they did in 1998, when VH1 cared more about music than reality shows starring Bret Michaels), and for what? To show how culturally bankrupt VH1 has gotten in the past decade? To opine about who should be on and who shouldn't, consdering I think the artists in my Top 100 would be people VH1 and their "panel" would never consider in a million years? Who cares? It's a waste of goddamn time.

My band A Slanderous Choir, disbanded in August. The split, overall, was amicable, but it was awkward since I was the one who pretty much decided to quit. Basically, we played about 10 shows (including a radio spot on my friend Malcolm Tent's radio show on WNHU, a local college station), and I just didn't feel like we were clicking. Amelia and I wanted one sound, and our drummer wanted another. Practices usually lead to squabbles and arguments, and it was damaging our friendship. So it got to a level if we wanted to stay friends, the band would have to go. We played our last show on July 23, although we didn't know it at the time, and it was a bad final show. The bar PA was shitty, Amelia blew her voice out after 3 songs, and we cut our set short by 4 songs just to get the fuck outta there. We practiced one more time and then I decided that I had had enough. I actually felt like a hypocrite for a while because our drummer wanted to quit after our very first gig for pretty much the same reasons (wanting a different sound, not feeling like we clicked musically, general depression and dissatisfaction), and Amelia and I had to talk her into staying and giving it another go, which she reluctantly did. Even then, she had wanted to form another band. And I had entertained a similar idea secretly. It took me until that last show to confront the feeling that I wasn't behind our music 110%; Truth be told, I hated a couple of our songs. But we all decided that splitting up would be for the best; Our ex-drummer is forming another band, and Amelia and I are in the process of starting another band. I'm not too worried right now. I'm still young, and I'm focusing on work and school also. But I took away a lot of lessons and positive experiences from being in A Slanderous Choir. I got a taste of doing gigs, meeting other bands, networking and all that fun stuff.

I'm kind of glad I'm not doing music right now because I've come to the conclusion that I know nothing. I've been doing nothing but checking out new artists/bands/albums/7"/EPs for the past couple of months. I try to check out a few a day. I've also been cleaning out my vinyl collection and the stuff on my iPod. Seeing what I really like, what I never want to hear again (Led Zeppelin, here's looking at you!), and what I just don't care for. I'm also taking a music history and appreciation class (my final class at Housatonic, then off to Southern; I gotta get the ball rolling on transferring and all that shit), and I'm finally developing a taste for classical music and minimalism.

Politically speaking.... You know what? Fuck it. I'm a socialist. Happy, Hannity?!?!?! The right these days is making Bush and his pals look like hippies passing out free condoms and pamphlets on fighting homelessness at a Hendrix show! The new superstar in the Tea Party is Christine O'Donnell from Delaware, who beat out Mike Castle, probably the most center-leaning Republican in the House of Representatives, in the Delaware Senate primary. Things are looking kind of bleak for the Democrats, not that, in a way they don't deserve it. After wussing out on public option and passing a watered-down health bill that catered to insurance companies and lobbyists perhaps wasn't the best way to keep their base excited and their grip on power intact, but when you have a 24-hour news cycle up your ass all the time, it's hard to have any integrity. Still, when you consider the alternative, the Tea Party..... The GOP is probably gonna win in November, there will be a stranglehold in Congress from now on, things will get worse when people realize that the Tea Party candidates only want limited government when the Democrats are in power, people will realize that the GOP got us to where we are now in many aspects,and the sane people in this nation will be wagging their fingers going "See? I told you so."

I'm gonna focus this blog more on myself, and less on the world. I'll still write about music, politics, films, books, etc, but I'll be more personal. I know not to turn this into a bitchfest, and view this blog as a work of art and a vehicle to keep my writing up.

And now for my current theme song. A little tune from Paul Weller and co. from 1980. The Jam's "Going Underground."

25 So Far...

Last week, on June 28th, I've turned 25. Up until my birthday, I was depressed about it. My ever existential self kept thinking that if by chance I live to be 100, I'm a quarter way at best from kicking the bucket. I would hate to think that my life is even that much over, but I also have to think that I could die tomorrow, so just carpe diem and shut the fuck up. I moved out of my mom's house, for once NOT under acrimonious circumstances, and I moved in with my girlfriend's family. I'm still adjusting and I haven't moved all of my shit over here yet, but so far it's not bad. Of course, the past few days the weather has been creeping near 100 degrees and hella humid. It doesn't help that work's been really busy too.

So what happened with Music Spiel (the blog I was paid to write for)? Well, the guy who ran it, Dave, said that he was putting it on the back burner for now and he'd get in touch with me. So I've come back here. I'm gonna post the Top 125 albums of the last 25 years, because SPIN Magazine did something like that and I wasn't too happy with it. I'll tell you why when I start the list, which will be in the next couple of days. And right now, I'm just gonna blog on here. And politically speaking, I just don't care anymore.