Tonight, Comedy Central is hosting the Roast of Larry the Cable Guy. Normally, I enjoy the roasts they do on Comedy Central; the Bob Saget Roast had me in stitches, as well as the one on Flavor Flav a couple of years back. However, I'm sitting this one out. First off, Larry the Cable Guy hasn't been around long enough to DESERVE a roast (nor has he done really much of anything except entertain rednecks), and I simply just don't like him. I also see a roast of him as a bit superfluous, if I must say so myself. I can roast him, and sum up a 2 hour special in a matter of minutes.
To Larry the Cable Guy:
You are not funny.
Your accent is not even real.
Your sleeveless flannels (along with Crocs) are an example of a complete disregard for good fashion. (Jeez, I sound like a chick)
Your catchphrases are stupid. WHAT THE FUCK DOES GIT-R-DONE MEAN?!?!?!?! What is the "R" in "Git-R-Done?" What "R" you "Gitting Done?"
You sound like the only book you ever read (besides the Bible) was "Cat in the Hat."
You're definitely the least funny out of all of those Blue Collar Comedy people.
Your movies are terrible. Stop making them.
You really should just be a cable guy instead of a comedian.
There. I just roasted Larry the Cable Guy. And I didn't even need Lisa Lampinelli or Greg Giraldo to help me out.
