I can't believe it's December already. Where the fuck did this year go? Well, come December 31st, good riddance! This year blew more than Bristol Palin at her homecoming dance!

So what's been up? I landed that UPS drver help job till Xmas Eve, managed to get most of my Xmas shopping done, put some money away, and work on my writing a little bit. Speaking of writing, go to http://blog.photos2view.com, because I wrote a few articles for that and working on a long term relationship with the blog's owner. I can now say that I'm a freelancer (even if I'm not making very much money doing that, but some is better than none). My girlfriend and I even went out for the first time in a while. We saw a movie (Twilight, which SUCKED, but we saw just to see what the fuss was about, and we hadn't been to a movie in a while) and went out for a cheap, but very delicious Chinese meal. Seriously, we've barely done much of anything the past few weeks.

I have to stop watching the news and reading the news. It's depressing. All this talk of recession, bailouts, layoffs, and greedy CEOs on their knees asking for bailouts while flying private jets is making me discouraged about finding another permanent job. I have my days where I'm just a complete downer, consumed by negative thoughts, and that never leads to anything good; the past few years should be an indication of that. I overthink and overanalyze things and kind of view everything like it's the apocalypse sometimes. I get panicky, anxious, irritable, pissed off, and bitter. But when it all comes down to it I shouldn't be.

Things could be a lot worse. I could be entirely jobless. I could be homeless. I could be a woman in Darfur getting raped by militiants watching her kids being macheted. McCain could have won the election, and the U.S. could have turned into a fascist state under Bush. It could be a lot worse.

This holiday season is just full of pressure. It's hard to tackle even a crappy seasonal job. Both my girlfriend and I are struggling financially, and have been rejected for many jobs. I'm worried about after Xmas when UPS lays me off. I'm worried about having to pick up extra cash by doing temp jobs w/ lowlifes (Labor Ready... I did that a few years back during a worse period). I guess it's all about how you make it. Maybe people who aren't lowlifes are seeking temp jobs as well. Actually, I know that for a fact.

So I just have to stay positive, keep trying even when I'm exhausted, and remember that I'll come out on the other side. And, most importantly, I'm not the only one suffering, and I'm capable of making things awesome for myself.

Now, if only I could stop my brain from going 8 million miles per hour...