(Bad) Bands Reunited

Hey remember 1999? The year of Limp Bizkit, Blink 182 and Creed, 3 bands that were thankfully passe and disbanded by 2004? Well, they're back! I can't wait!

We have fake Rage Against the Machine (an apolitical one at that), fake Green Day, and fake Pearl Jam touring arenas and, most likely, filling up magnetic tape and ProTools hard drives with musical abortions throughout the year (and the real ones are still around, even if I don't really care about them anymore). My middle school years are coming back to life in a bad way (nevermind the fact that I went to a party the other night and saw people I hadn't seen since middle & high school, which actually wasn't too horrible, but still a little awkward). Excuse me while I barricade myself in my room, and turn on Reign in Blood.

Announcing their "reunion" first, I believe, was Limp Bizkit, lead by Fred Durst, a guy who gives Vanilla Ice a run for his money in terms of lameness. I have to admit, when I was 13, I liked them. I saw them open for Korn before they got famous, and I bought their first album. To this day, I like their guitarist, Wes Borland, who jumped ship in 2001 to try to create more artistic projects to better suit his talents, but I haven't checked any of them out, and I guess he needs money so he's back with them. When their second album came out, it sucked so bad I denounced my "fanhood," and watched as other bands followed in their vein of bad white-boy rap, detuned boneheaded riffs so low that I don't know what notes they're playing, and lame turntable scratches. That era of rap-rock was a pretty dark age for rock n roll, let me tell you. Since then, Fred Durst has basically become a punchline and no one gives a shit about them anymore... at least I hope (let's see how this "reunion" plays out).

I'm not a huge MADTV guy, but back in 2001 or so, they did a brilliant parody of Limp Bizkit.

For your viewing pleasure:


Next we have Blink182, who broke up like two years ago. Really, do people miss "All the Small Things" all that much? Besides being punk rock posers, their essential crime is setting off the powder keg that lead to the uprsie of emo bands. Hate Fall Out Boy and Panic at the Disco? Thank the success of Blink 182 (and, to a lesser extent, Green Day). My research shows that Blink182 "disbanded" in 2005. It is now 2009. A band who breaks up and "reunites" 4 years later never really broke up; they took a hiatus. Regardless of what bad blood went down, 4 years is not a long time. Some bands take 4 or 5 years between albums without breaking up. Whatever.

And last but not least, there is perhaps the #1 musical abortion to terrorize airwaves and bring new meaning to the messianic complex: Creed. A band I thought would be gone for good, and I seriously threw a party when these guys broke up. Seriously, the mere thought of never having to hear from Scott Stapp ever again gave me a huge boner, no lie. But now, they decided to earn back some of the $$$ they blew on drugs and hookers, and tour the arenas of America with their brand of uber-lame adult-contemporary-friendly rock n roll that makes a mockery of everything that even remotely rocked in the early 90s! They were the worst (and ironically, the most successful) band that imitated Pearl Jam. I could deal with Stone Temple Pilots, and I liked them a lot when I was younger, I thought the one song Candlebox did was OK, great whatever. But Scott Stapp's self-important attitude, and him seriously thinking he was Jim Morrison and that Creed was like Led Zeppelin because "Hey critics hated Led Zep too, and now look at them! 30 years later, we'll earn 5 star reviews at allmusic.com and Rolling Stone" (not far off from what he actually said). And poeple bought it! Their first 2 records went DIAMOND ferchrissakes!!!! Shows how smart the consensus of the record-buying public is. Well, hey, maybe 7 Mary 3 will get a call to be asked to open up for them!



How come whenever bands reunite, it's almost never bands people WANT to reunite? How come it's always a band like Creed or the Eagles that reunite, and never a band like the Smiths, a band most people would give their eyeteeth to see? The Smiths, Talking Heads, Pavement, the original Guns N Roses lineup all wont reunite, but Creed, Blink 182 and Limp Bizkit all decide to reunite around the same time. Goddamn it!