As promised, I am posting the first 20 songs on VH1's mostly pathetic list of the 100 Greatest Hard Rock Songs, hosted by a guy who just DEFINES hard rock. Ozzy? Lemmy? Rob Halford? Angus Young from AC/DC? Nope. Bret Michaels of Poison! Probably to promote the upcoming season of Rock of Love. Hasn't this guy banged enough sluts in the course of 20+ years? Anyway, this list was determined by viewers, as opposed to critics and musicians, so this pretty much explains why some horrible songs are on this list. The first hour (the first 20 songs) were definitely the worst of the bunch. Read on.
100. I Can't Drive 55 - Sammy Hagar: Sammy Hagar pre-Van Halen… I suppose it’s a decent song, but I have a hard time considering Sammy Hagar “hard rock,” due to him adding ballads to Van Halen’s list of “accomplishments.”
99. We're an American Band- Grand Funk Railroad: Grand Funk Railroad is hard rock? Well, OK.
98. Lit Up- Buckcherry: I never understood Buckcherry’s appeal when they first came out when I was like 14, perhaps cuz I was too angry to listen to a band that sounded like a newer Black Crowes. Now, 10 years later I heard this song again, and realized why I didn’t like them; because they were mediocre, as were the Black Crowes.
97. Frankenstein - Edgar Winter: That riff is pretty hard rock! But not one of my favorite songs by a long shot.
96. Carry On Wayward Son - Kansas: Ah, no. Kansas is about as hard rock as a stuffed koala bear.
95. Higher - Creed: The day I consider Creed a hard rock band is the day I consider George W. Bush to be a good president. Seriously. These pseudo-spiritual Pearl Jam rip-offs are by far one of the top 3 worst things to happen to music in the past 15 years. And did you see Scott Stapp’s new style? He went from looking like a grunge-era reject to looking like an American Idol reject. Asshole.
94. I Believe In a Thing Called Love - The Darkness: Never took this song seriously, probably because Justin Hawkins’ vocals made Barry Gibb sound like Barry White, but I suppose it was a throwback to all those emo bands who took themselves too seriously.
93. Turn Up the Radio - Autograph: Don’t care about this song enough. Your typical 80s rock song.
92. Don't Tell Me You Love Me - Night Ranger: Don’t tell me that Night Ranger is a hard rock band.
91. Bullet With Butterfly Wings - Smashing Pumpkins: Definitely one of their heaviest moments. “Despite all my rage I’m still just a rat in a cage.” Defines rage to a T.
90. Aqualung - Jethro Tull: Art rock w/ flutes… normally, not very “hard rock,” but believe it or not the Aqualung album had some pretty heavy moments.
89. Party Hard - Andrew W.K.: I always thought this guy was a colossal joke. Some things should stay in 2001, much like how hair metal should have stayed in 1988.
88. Would? - Alice In Chains: I’m surprised they picked “Would?” I thought “Man In The Box” would be a shoe-in, but I’m not complaining. “Would?” is one of Alice In Chain’s best songs, one of their most poignant, and only got sadder with Layne Staley’s death. I find it hard to sit through an Alice In Chains record, though.
87. Seventeen - Winger: Oh sure, this is hard rock… Lars Ulrich made that Kip Winger dartboard because Metallica was envious on how rockin’ Winger was compared to them!
86. The Beautiful People - Marilyn Manson: Marilyn Manson is a joke now, but this song (and the Antichrist Superstar album) didn’t fuck around. Ah, memories.
85. Slither - Velvet Revolver: Good song. But, like Audioslave, VR was more of a case of curiosity to see how members of 2 different bands of two different types could work together.
84. I Wanna Be Somebody - W.A.S.P.: Not into WASP. Kiudos to them for pissing off Tipper Gore, though. I wonder how Tipper Gore found out about “Fuck Like a Beast,” though… or “Golden Showers” by the Mentors, as opposed to more obvious mainstream targets, such as Prince and Twisted Sister…
83. Bring Me to Life - Evanescence: No disrespect, but Evanescence isn’t really hard rock. Amy Lee has a good voice, but she sings like the same 5 notes in every song.
82. Since You've Been Gone - Rainbow: Why not “Stargazer?” Or “Man on the Silver Mountain?” Or any song with Ronnie James Dio upfront? Nope. The voters have spoken, and decided they like their Rainbow songs to be early 80s cheesy and sung by a guy who was pretty much hard rock’s version of the guy from Mr. Mister.
81. Heaven and Hell - Black Sabbath: Well, here’s Dio now, speak of the devil… To me though, Sabbath will always be the original line-up with Ozzy.
Next up are the songs from 80-61. Stay tuned.
I Got Published
14 years ago
1 comment:
Hagar didn't make Van Halen start recording ballads. This is a very common misconception. Eddie was and always has been the creative force in that band and it was his choice to start going in a "mature" direction with synths and such. Sammy just provided the vocals and lyrics.
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