Officially calling for the arson of the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame Museum...

Ever since I became aware enough to realize its irrelevance, I have had a serious beef with the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame. Its backdoor politics, elitism, and limitations on who gets in is bullshit. It's a sham. It's based on the opinions and views of like 10 people who claim to "know" music. Assholes like Jann Wenner & David Wild. I keep hoping that they'll get their shit together and stop adding crap among their ranks, much like how a person who has a loved one in a vegetative state hopes that they wake up one day. Year after year, however, I keep getting enraged. I think I'm a sadist, because I shouldn't care, and yet I do.

Once again, The Stooges have been denied entry into the (C)Rock Hall, despite being eligible for the past 15 years, this news coming about a week after the death of guitarist Ron Asheton. Instead, make way for Metallica, Run DMC, Jeff Beck, Little Anthony and the Imperials, and Bobby Womack. Couldn't fit one more inductee in there, ay guys? Why just five inductees a year now? Oh yeah, VH1 has to make more room for relaity shows based on washed-up celebrities, and people who were on other VH1 reality shows who are looking for an extra 5 minutes of fame. This is a fucking disgrace.

Looking at this year's nominees; first we have Metallica. Heavy metal gods, sure. I'd have no problem with them being here if they had put out a decent album since 1988, and if they didn't sue their fans when they downloaded "I Disappear" off of Napster. Run DMC I like, but they're not really "rock & roll" are they? Yet again, this is the same institution that inducted Madonna last year, and Grandmaster Flash & the Furious Five back in '07. I guess you could call Run DMC an influence on rock & roll for their collaboration with Aerosmith on "Walk This Way." This move reignited Aerosmith's stagnant career, and was considered by many to be the genesis of "rap rock." Just for that, however, Run DMC should be disqualified. Maybe not; how could they foresee Limp Bizkit? That and I do like Rage Against the Machine. Jeff Beck's already in with the Yardbirds, but I guess his solo career had to be represented there too. The other two nominees should have been inducted years ago.

The (C)Rock hall inducted the Ramones, the Clash, and the Sex Pistols (who refused to attend the ceremony, denouncing the hall as a "piss stain"; their attitude has never left them, thankfully). But not inducting the Stooges is a mortal sin in the world of punk (or anything considered "alternative"). Iggy Pop's antics set the stage for all the Sid Viciouses and Will Shatters of the world (and he managed to survive), Ron Asheton's riffs set the stage for all the Johnny Ramones and Kurt Cobains, and their lack of finesse on their instruments proved to be inspiration to many young misfits, despite virtually no commercial success. That's something Metallica can't claim.

The Stooges have been eligible for induction since 1994, 25 years after their debut album (that's the rule). They should have been inducted then. Let's see who was inducted in 1994:

-The Animals
-The Band
-Elton John
-Duane Eddy
-Grateful Dead
-Rod Stewart
-John Lennon (as a solo artist)
-Bob Marley

OK, what the fuck is Rod Stewart doing in there? The majority of his career was spent crooning Top 40 Adult Contemporary hits. And did they really feel the need to induct the Grateful Dead then, too? Fuck the Dead. All they did was inspire the wave of bad jam bands that people follow like sheep all the time and do lots of drugs (Dave Matthews Band, Phish, etc.). Musically, they had nothing to offer, except turning a 3-minute song into a 35-minute wankfest. They were the representation of all the bad things about the hippie movement; overindulgence, wanking, and cult-like behavior. I would've inducted the Stooges over the Band, too. I don't give a fuck if they were Bob Dylan's backing band, they were boring as hell. Every year since then, the Stooges ahev been passed up for induction, even if Madonna had asked the Stooges to play 2 of her songs at her induction last year (which, in a way, was pretty cool).



The Stooges tearing through "Burning Up" & "Ray of Light."

And don't even get me started on last year's joke of a ceremony. Madonna? John Mellencamp? I'm surprised Huey Lewis didn't get inducted. I'm also sure that because Madonna got inducted, there will be a Britney Spears induction around 2025, I reckon.

Here's a small list of bands I think should be in there and their year of supposed eligibility:
MC5 (1993)
Rush (1999)
New York Dolls (1998)
Tom Waits (1998)
Minutemen (2005)
Husker Du (2007)
Can (1994)
Kraftwerk (1996)
Television (2002)
Skip James (1986)
Nick Drake (1994)

Though, it'll most likely be freezing in hell (as it is here) before that happens.