Saturday, November 1, 2008

I Remember Halloween....

Back when I was young, Halloween was the coolest time of year. It was my favorite holiday, after Christmas. Getting to dress up, roam the streets, and get as much free candy you can lift to last you a few weeks. It was the best. Sadly, now I'm too old to go trick-or-treating, and for the past few years I've spent most of my Halloweens drunk or stoned (except this one). I still wish I could be 9 years old for one night, and go from house to house getting candy sometimes.

Apparently, Halloween ain't what it used to be in the suburbs. It seems that I see less and less people out. I drove past my old neighborhood, and past trick-or-treating landmarks, with my girlfriend, to see if the streets would be swarmed with kids, as it was way back when. Back in the 90s, you were literally tripping over other kids trying to go to as many houses as possible. I was disappointed when I revisited my old street. Barely anyone was out. It was around 8 PM on a Friday. When I was a kid, regardless of what day of the week it was, 8 PM was peak time for trick-or-treaters, especially if Halloween fell on a day where there was no school the next morning! Has life gotten lame or what?

Seriously. What the fuck, youth of today? This is your one time of year to dress up as a hooligan, and get all the free candy you can shake a stick at! How often do you get to do this, and why aren't you taking advantage of it? You only are young once, you know! And what the fuck, parents of today? Are you scared to take your kids out? I think that may be the case. My friend's family owns a gymnastics studio, and she overheard parents saying that they're weary and nervous to take their kids out, and instead have parties for Halloween. Scared of what? Terrorists? Child molesters? Kids stupid enough to not get out of the road when they see a car? Take a fucking chance! Don't curb a little kid's excitement in lieu for some stupid party in your basement! That's fucking lame! Teach em some responsibility ferchrissakes!!!! How are they gonna learn anything in this world if you keep them from experiencing anything? Grow some balls!

I remember Halloween 2001, that trick-or-treating seemed to be on the decline. It was right after 9/11, and parents were concerned that Osama and his buddies had taken over a Kit-Kat factory, and spent their time adding anthrax to chocolate bars. What a crock of shit! I know that terrorism is a concern, especially in the modern world, but honestly, I think that they have more important things to do than to poison candy, and have suicide bombers prowl suburban neighborhoods waiting to take out a few kids dressed as pirates & superheroes! If that's the case for these uncertain and paranoid times, then seriously, get a life. Just because something bad is out there, doesn't mean you shouldn't live.

Is Halloween just dying? Will Halloween not exist if and when I have kids? I would hate to think of a future without it for some reason. Seeing the empty streets of my old neighborhood was very sad in such a way that there is some sort of loss of innocence rampant in the world. Hopefully, that sense of joy will come back. Because, seriously... Halloween has sucked for the past 8 years!

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