One of those survey things, stolen from my sister

1. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?

I’m gonna have to go with Sarah Palin on this one. Hard choice, and unoriginal, because my sister gave the same answer on her blog when she did this questionnaire. But, the talk of MSNBC, Fox News, CNN, etc. is that Sarah Palin is seen as the GOP’s possible future during its stage of regrouping and reprioritizing its ideals, while Barack Obama enjoys a well-deserved presidency, even if Sarah Palin is one of the most divisive cunts ever to tarnish the national stage. Then the GOP will have to find someone entirely new. Muahahahahaha!

2. You can flip a switch that will wipe any band or musical artist out of existence. Who will it be?

Just one? AHHHH! Do NOT ask a music snob this question. It’s a tossup between Miley Cyrus and Panic At The Disco. Panic, I think wins because they might have just a little more longevity than Miley.

3. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?

Dane Cook. And tell him that he’s not funny, and to stop stealing jokes from good comedians.

4. What is your favorite cheese?

Not a cheese guy. But I like me some mozzarella (fresh, or on pizza)

5. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your immediate disposal. What kind of sandwich will you eat?

Grilled chicken, with a slice of turkey bacon, romaine lettuce and BBQ sauce, served with an awesome pickle on the side.

6. You have the opportunity to sleep with the movie celebrity of your choice. We are talking no-strings-attached sex and it can only happen once. Who is the lucky celebrity of your choice?

Anne Hathaway, hands down!

7. You have the opportunity to sleep with the music celebrity of your choice, who will it be?

Joanna Newsom!!!!! I’d say Tori Amos circa 1992 or so, but she has that whole rape trauma thing, and from what I heard, mace sucks.

8. Now that you've slept with two people in a row, you seem to be having an excellent day because you just came across a hundred-dollar bill on the sidewalk. What do you buy?

Records

9. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

I’d say Paris. Or possibly Amsterdam. I wouldn’t have much fun though, as I am broke.

10. An angel appears out of heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the beverage of your choice. It is?

v-8 Splash!

11. Rufus appears out of nowhere with a time-traveling phone booth. You can go anywhere in the PAST. Where do you go?

I hate this question. How many places and time periods do I get to go to? You should specify!

12. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?

No assholes or douchebags allowed! Hey, you have to start somewhere!

13. You have been given the opportunity to create the half-hour TV show of your own design. What is it?

“Shoot Assholes Out of a Cannon!” This week’s guest, Rush Limbaugh and that caller on his show that called the Obama supporters at Grant Park in Chicago on Election Night “Bolsheviks.”

14. What is your favorite curse word?

Fuck. Because you still can’t say it on network TV 

15. One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren't really doing anything, what do you do?

Kick ‘em in the balls!

16. Your house is on fire! What do you do?

Make like David Lee Roth’s spandex pants and SPLIT!

17. The Angel of Death has descended upon you. Fortunately, the Angel of Death is pretty cool and in a good mood, and it offers you a half-hour to do whatever you want before you bite it. Whatcha gonna do in that half-hour?

Kill the Angel of Death!

18. You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and whats even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What super-power is it?

Flying. I’d say teleporting, but… I like scenery and listening to my iPod when I travel!

19. You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

If I went back anywhere, I would be tempted to want to live past that half-hour and carry on as life was then with what I know now and prevent me from making some dumb mistakes. I guess the My Bloody Valentine show during the last half hour.

20. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

I wouldn’t change anything, per se. How I dealt with it, maybe, but I wouldn’t change anything.

21. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check this out you can move anywhere. Where are you going?

England

22. This question still counts, even for those of you who are under age, if you were banned from every bar in the world except one, which one would it be?

I dunno. I guess Rudy’s

23. Hopefully you didn't mention this in the super-powers question... If you did, then we'll just expound on that. Check it out… Suddenly, you have gained the ability to fly! Whose house are you going to fly to first, and be like "Check it out I can FLY!?"

Amelia’s 

24. The constant absorption of magical moon beams mixed with the radioactive vegetables you consumed earlier has given you the ability to resurrect the dead famous person of your choice. So which celebrity will you bring back to life?

Kurt Cobain or Bill Hicks. They weren’t done yet!